As the festivities slowly approach, once again, “holiday madness” takes over the human population. It is a time when family and friends come together in the spirit of “goodwill towards men,” and it slowly dawns on me that I will be ringing in the New Year alone with Dick Clark playing loudly on my high definition television.
I have been “relationship-less” (yes, this word does exists!) for the last four years. Needless to say, I have had my fair share of unwanted attention. I am at the point in my life where I have embraced my singlehood. This is just a season in my life, and I can either make the best of it or sit and watch “Sleepless in Seattle” while eating bonbons and feeling sorry for myself. But, every now and then, I am reminded of the label society has placed on me when my dear ol’ dad chimes in, “Have you met anyone at church?” Suddenly, the hairs on the back of my neck stand, and I cringe at the thought of the question. “Well dad, how do you think I’m doing? I’m miserable, and I just want to attend my company’s year-end dinner with someone other than a female friend!” I know what most of you are thinking. “Poor thing.” And no, that was not my reply (if I were to tell you that I wasn’t thinking that, lightning would strike me down!), but I answer and reassure him by responding, “No dad, I’m okay.”
Truth be told, I am just fine, thank you very much! A few years ago, I would recoil at the idea of facing yet another holiday alone. After all, we desire love and crave for companionship. Our creator even understood the basic need for relationships. This was the reason why Adam was created. The God of the universe yearned for someone to have a deep and loving relationship with. In fact, God himself sees the need of the human heart as we read in the book of Genesis chapter 2 verse 18:
“Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.” (Amp version)
Our Father observed that Adam was alone and knew that he would eventually yearn for a companion, just as He did. We were designed for human relationships, it is embedded in our spiritual D.N.A. (which stands for Divine, Noble, Attributes, now that…I made up!). It’s just one of the many traits of the spiritual man inside of us because we are a direct reflection of our creator in heaven. As a single woman, I hear the stories of people who are married and some seem to echo, “It’s not easy.” or, “If I could do it all over again, I would have remained single.” How strange to hear these words? On the other hand, I have had the examples of many happily married couples, one of which includes my parents who celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary.
Four years ago, I was involved in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship. I had someone by my side, but I was not happy. I would cry myself to sleep every night wondering why it wasn’t working out. I wanted it so bad, I wanted to have the “happily ever after” story and ride off into the sunset with my knight in shining armor. Reality set in, and I mustered up every ounce of strength to make the decision to end the relationship before things could get any worse. I was scared because I was going to be alone and angry at the fact that I had failed at my one chance of happiness. At what point do we sacrifice our own joy and well-being for the sake of wanting to be in relationship? How many times have we all settled for less than God’s best for us?
I have had time to reflect over these last years and realize that I was never alone. I will not allow the world to look down on me or categorize me because I have yet to find myself in a committed relationship. I never took notice that someone was always there for me, loving me unconditionally for who I am. He is my best friend, my Father, the lover of my soul, his name is Jesus and he is my Plus-One.